The Plague

Traditionally, a Plague was a disease that wiped out half of Europe. This post is more akin to a plague of locusts, only far, FAR more dangerous and cruel.

I am of course talking about Mormons.

Mormons. Dressed in private school boy suits, armed to the teeth with bibles and pamphlets and wearing a pleasing demeanour like a suit of armour. They take advantage of even the smallest opening and pour themselves into your life like an Octopus squeezing into a crack in a wall.

The face of evil.

I have this thing... it's sort of a tick. See, when someone talks to me, I'll be polite, no matter how much of an asshole they are or how obviously Mormon they are. When these people first knocked on my door I figured I would be nice and speak to them. Humour them.
My first mistake.
Getting to know these people was a mistake of incredible proportions. They turned out to be really nice people. I became friends with them. A second mistake. After becoming friends with them, I realised that they were in fact still trying to convert me. Oh and after 3 months, both of these Mormons transferred to a new area so I got stuck with two new guys. These guys could barely speak English and were extremely awkward.

So now I'm stuck with these foreign idiots who visit me DAILY and I don't know how to tell them to kindly fuck off. How... how do I live with this plague? The only cure is to be cruel and tell them to go die somewhere. But I cant do that. Not to their face. Maybe I should show them this post? Pretty fantastic idea I think.

Either that or I dig up a rifle or something and remove them the old fashioned way.

That seems easier...