Saturday 5 November 2011

There's a Snake in my Boot!

My boot (house) is currently inhabited by a Snake (bitch).
I'm fairly sure I've mentioned this Snake once or twice before. I know for damn sure that she pops up 2 out of 3 times in the Diary of a Fetus and I know I've beaten this subject to a bloody pulp, but I really just don't think any of you understand just how much of a pain in my ample ass this Snake character is.


Yeah. So Snake is a nosey bitch. She doesn't know what's -her- business and what isn't.
Snake loudly slurps every drink she takes and then.... "AAAHHHHhhhh"
Snake types on her computer as if every key stroke we're a matter of life and death, ESPECIALLY the enter key...

Did I mention she was my house mate? I'm sure you figured that out. She's gotta be the worst house mate in the universe. The whole universe. Not just this universe. Every single universe ever. Buuut you know... I'm stuck with her. I mean, I could just kill myself or something but it's only just barely not going to be enough to escape such horror and I don't think I can be bothered forming a suicide cult just to get the bad taste of the Snake out of my mouth.


Seriously, let me tell you guys something she did today.
She recently purchased computer headphones with a microphone thing attached so she can talk to people in games and her computer just happens to be in the living room *sigh*.
So I tell her;
"If you're gonna use those things, maybe you should move your computer into your room."

Now what do you think is a normal reaction to this statement? "No, thanks, I just wont use them any more." or maybe "OK fine but let it go on record I'm not happy about it".

Well no that wasn't quite what Snake had in mind when I asked her to piss off. She chose to bang her hands on the table 3 times, scream and start crying.


......


So I think you understand just what I'm dealing with here.
If any of you readers have any idea how to get rid of a Snake problem without having to buy a fortune worth of Mongooses, please... PLEASE let me know.

~HowlingFetus~

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